Sunday, January 29, 2012

Fork in The Road

Life is good for maneuvering people away from smooth paths, and onto rocky roads full of unexpected bumps. Those bumps differ from size and severity and can leave us feeling helpless, and full of despair. But no matter how deep or how much damage has been done, take solace in the fact that, if you manage not to lose your mind or commit suicide, your time on that bumpy road will pass. 

Those unexpected forks in the road are the only ways to test things that we hold dear like intimate relationships, friendships or even success. What would life and the people and circumstances in it be if there were no tribulations? How could we appreciate amatory feelings without knowing what the adverse feelings are? How could we test the depths of our own spirituality or our strengths?  
The beauty in all bad is the ability to overcome, and learn from it. 

This blog came to mind due to my conversation with someone on Twitter who has strong, negative opinions of formerly incarcerated individuals.  If the majority of people in this world were as judgmental as that particular person, they would be living an ignorantly, blissful, denial filled existence, since there is not a person alive who is flawless or free from character defects. But like bad situations, judgmental people are necessary because they display a behavior that we all should be mindful not to immulate. 
Ever since my release from prison a year and a half ago, I have not had too many complaints. But, as life would have it, I recently hit yet another fork in the road. I have since realized it is relatively small in comparison to greater obstacles I have encountered in my lifetime. I literally employed these steps to help me feel better about it: 

1-Allowed Myself to Feel: When you try to fight against your emotions you will lose every time; instead, let your emotions run their course.
2- Accepted It: I had to tell myself this is the situation, and I have no choice but to deal with it.
3-Thought of the Good That May Come Out of It: Found it too
4-Redirected My Focus: None of us have just one thing on our minds, we have multiple priorities. My main one is getting my next novel out to my readers, and that's where the majority of my energy is being focused. 

See, when you have survived a life changing circumstance, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to follow the steps described above. We all have survived something from job loss to disappointments. And I am certain good things came out of those situations. Therefore, the next time you think your world is coming to an end, think about the last time your world CAME TO AN END, make the words This will pass your personal mantra.  When it does, do not forget to bask in the glory of surviving unscathed, stronger and wiser. 

In Good Health and High Spirits,

Author of Heads or Tails? Geminis Don't Choose


  1. Thanks Tish, you are so right. With struggle comes success.

  2. Lately with all the running around I have been doing I haven't accomplished much of anything & it's starting to wear heavily on me. However if I keep holding on & believing that there will be a better tomorrow-especially from where I have been & came from.

  3. Love this.... Stay blessed, stay true to you, and most of all believe. Life is so short to let others pull you down. With this mouthful said... I believe in you. Wonderfully put. I really enjoyed this.

  4. Love this Tish.You have weathered the storm and now the sun shines brightly on you love.Keep shining and remaining a blessing in so many lives-love you-James

  5. Wow, I was just reading something from Tyler Perry, that is similar in context. I love you Sherman!
    This morning I woke and was so frustrated about all the stuff I'm dealing with, trying to get this studio open. I was about to open my mouth and start complaining when I remembered something that happened to me about a year ago.

    I was walking to my car and this woman who looked to be homeless started walking towards me. I'm ashamed to say this but I thought, "I don't feel like being hustled today." Then I got quickly convicted. I felt guilty so I started digging in my pocket for some money. As she got closer I noticed that she had the kindest eyes that I had ever seen. As I was reaching into my pocket she started to speak. I thought, "Here goes the sales pitch". She said "Excuse me sir, I need some shoes". Can you help me? My eyes filled with water because I remember being out on the streets and having only one pair of run over shoes. I was taken aback for a second.

    I took her inside the studio and had my wardrobe people find shoes in her size. As she put the shoes on she started crying, praising God and thanking Jesus, and saying, "My feet are off the ground! My feet are off the ground!" Several of the wardrobe people started crying. I was crying. But I never forgot that, "My feet are off the ground!"

    I thought, "Wow! All she wanted was some shoes." She quickly disappeared and never asked me for a dime. I realized that I still had the money in my hand so I went out looking for her. She was gone just that quick so I looked all around the neighborhood for her. I found her standing on a corner looking down at her shoes still crying. I was so touched I asked her how she had gotten homeless. She told me that she had AIDS and that she was waiting to get into a shelter. She said that her family had turned their backs on her and she had nowhere to go and that God would make a way for her. I said to myself, "He just did." Her faith and her praise moved me.

    I took her to a nearby hotel and put her up until she was able to get on her feet. I had someone that worked for me to check on her from time to time and make sure that she had food and clothes. After about a month or so we lost touch but I never forgot her.

    This past summer I was shooting "Daddy's Little Girls" and this woman walks up to me smiling. I didn't recognize her face but her eyes were familiar. She had on a really nice dress and her hair was done. It was her! She told me that the little help that I had given her changed her life. She was in a house now and doing very well.

    I said all of that to say this. After I met this woman, every time I think about complaining and mumbling I remember, "My feet are off the ground!"

  6. Thank you for your comments. Keep them coming.